Feeling cooped up in the house on a bright, beautiful, warm, Florida day (which pretty much sums up EVERY day in South Florida), the boys and I decided to head to a park near our development. I try to do this several times a week, if for no other reason than I like to be consistent. I’m also trying to make Friends with Kids because it would be nice to have play dates once in a while, but also to have Adult Conversation. Have I mentioned I’m really shy and I have a really hard time making friends? Turns out, people don’t ever get to know you if you don’t open your mouth and talk once in a while. Yeah! I know! I didn’t know either! Where was I? Oh yes, The Park!

We took lots of pictures, which wasn’t any fun at all because “Wait! Stop! I know you’re having fun, but don’t move so I can take a picture!” is surely annoying. All that stopping and focusing and setting up a shot resulted in a lot of these types of pictures:

There was still much fun to be had! Lots of swinging!

Much sand was dug!

The sand was a whole new experience for the baby. He didn’t eat any of it luckily.

There was lots of sliding down slides and jumping from high places!

There was also some relaxing, which was nice.

There was lots of moving from one place to another.

We had a pretty good time. Didn’t we, Baby One?

I think he agrees.

I made a slideshow for the Baby One. Clearly, it’s my first one, but I suspect I’ll b getting much better at it. Ha. Ha. Ha. Gotta go! Time for a bath– for the boys.

TCW 8 Months from Magic Mom on Vimeo.

My Snuggly Second Son,

All too soon you will grow up and come to realize that your letters are much fewer and further between than I ever intended them to be. What you may one day come to find out, should you have more than one child of your own, is that you will be far busier than you ever expected to be. At the end of the night, you may wish to do nothing more than curl up with your significant other and relax because you’ve just played 50 rounds of Cops and Robbers with your older son and fed, bathed, and pajama’d the baby. Oh wait! Maybe that’s just your mother. Or perhaps you will have a partner that might share the load of this work and you won’t feel quite as dog tired as I do now. Either way, you’ll come to find out that you don’t have as much time to record all the wonderful things your children do as you once thought you would. At least, I hope that for you. I hope you will be able to experience the heart-breaking beauty of your child’s eyes. The soul-tickling joy of your baby’s laughter. One day may you be in the presence of a parent-child love and you will finally understand. You will understand that writing these letters is only a glimpse into just how much I love you- that I could never fully transcribe the kind of feeling this is. But, again, I’ll always try. . .

January 20th, 2009 was the day that you finally crawled. After weeks of thinking about it and days of attempting to, but falling on your tummy, you actually made it across your bedroom floor. You were determined to reach my glasses, if only to put them in your mouth. You hollered the whole way, wanting me to pick you up, but I could see the immense satisfaction you held when you made it to the other side. I realized, as I watched you locomote across the floor, that this is what love is: Watching you do something difficult, something I could easily help you get or gain, but knowing how proud of yourself you would be should you do it yourself. I don’t think I’ll ever claim to know or understand exactly what love is, but I know this must be some small part of it.

These last few months have been about watching you discover. Your influence over objects, your power in the world, your feet, your brother. You have begun to notice it all and now, it seems, you want to be a part of it. There is a butterfly that hangs above your changing table. Every day you pull on its wings. Never fails to amuse you. During dinner time, you have found that with enough oomph you can make your sippy cup fly through the air. This cracks you up. Call my name, “Mama,” and you know that you are instantly picked up. Watch your brother and you are sure that you will be laughing in short order. It has been a great pleasure to watch you become an active member of your family.

You were the cutest damn dinosaur Halloween has ever seen this past Candy-Hoarding Season. We went for a huge hay ride all throughout the horsey part of town, stopping at almost every house for candy. There was a lot of people and even more kids, but you stayed quiet and nursed contentedly in the back of the trailer for most of the ride. Towards the end, you had decided that you had enough and we packed up your sugar-shocked brother and headed home to count all of his loot.

The rest of the Holidays passed in a most relaxing manor, so rare for holidays with our family. You weren’t quite yet up to the task of opening presents, but you were most definitely dazzled by the lights and noise of several of the toys you had gotten. Like your brother, your grandparents definitely over-indulged you in masses of toys. A ball-tivity center, several music-playing, crib toys, small race cars in fun, bright colors, and lots of stuffed animals were just parts of your stash. For the last few weeks, it has been easy to distract you with one of your favorite toys: a baby basketball net. It cheers you on when you make a basket and you are particularly enchanted with the figure of a little baby on the backboard. I think you like him the best.

You may or may not be interested to know that you’ve outgrown your entire stash of cloth diapers! So many nights I worried my nails to nubs, concerned that you weren’t getting enough milk. Because of a breast reduction when I was 19, we had a rocky start to our nursing relationship. We have visited many lactation consultants and many doctors, but we’ve finally found the right combination of Domperidone and solid foods to make it work. And it really does work because it’s the only thing that’s guaranteed to calm a crying spell or put you to sleep. In fact, it’s the only thing that puts you to sleep and it’s what you do all. night. long. It’s a good thing I’m a pretty heavy sleeper. It brings me immense amounts of joy and relief to be able to bite your chunky thighs and breathe in the baby scent trapped in your neck rolls.

This is the new face you like to make. Along with it, you say, “Ohhh.” Just like you know exactly what I’m talking about. Even if you don’t, and I suspect you do not. But! It’s really cute and it makes me feel like you are paying attention to everything I say.

Yesterday, as my mom leaned in to give your a kiss hello, you made a smacking sound with you lips. “Mmmwah!” It sounded just like you were giving her a kiss back and until someone proves otherwise, I will believe that is exactly what you are doing. You were quite proud of the new noise you could make and all of the excitement that followed when you did it, and you spent much of last night Mmmwahing. I truly believe that you can feel all the love and good feelings that your family has when we’re around you. I also believe that you are giving it back to us because you know how good it feels. Here’s a secret: Your grandfather, Cookie, turns into a total mush-head around you.

Your father has been in the hospital for the month of January to help himself become a better father. This means that your grandparents (Cookie and Granny) have been coming over in the evenings to help out with dinner and bath time. The bath has just become an extension of the play room. The entire family piles in the bathroom to watch you and your brother play in the tub. Between fits of giggles, I manage to clean your near-bald head and scrub your delicious neck rolls. The Bug’s bath toys are a joyful diversion while I manage to clean up your brother. It’s a special time and I can see how much love you have for each other. So consumed, you brother is, with making you laugh.

If there was one person who might possibly be more proud of your accomplishments than I am, it would be your brother. He positively rejoices when you achieve anything new. Crawling? He was your cheerleader every step of the way. He’s currently showing you how standing up and walking is done so that you’ll be shortly ready to enter a marathon. You should be aware that I am not ready for you to walk just yet. I’ve only just barely gotten over the fact that my! baby! is! crawling!

See? He completely adores you. As does your mama.
I love you, sweet boy.
Mama
xx

There are some amazing pictures entered over at Greeblemonkey’s for this month’s photo contest. Check it out! I chose one of my biggest inspirations. If you want to see a bigger version of this same picture, head over here.

When I started this Grace 365 Project, I didn’t plan on doing it every day because I knew that would just be unreasonable. So! I’m doing it for 365 days, just not consecutively. Also! I’ve had One of Those Days for several days now and those were consecutively. However! Last night the baby slept very well and now I feel refreshed!

Yesterday I went down to visit the Him which is an hour drive in the southernly direction, so I must take my mom or dad to help with the driving when the Baby One starts to cry. I am very good at Puppet Shows and Offering Things for Distraction. Also! I am not a very good singer, but I make funny and interesting voices which provide hours minutes of amusement. I have become very adept at Nursing While Baby One is in the Car Seat, which I know is not recommended, but when there is lots of screaming and crying and boo-hooing it works. It wasn’t The Worst Car Trip Ever, but it easily makes Top Ten.

After about 2700 “Are we there yets?” from the Older One, we pulled into the driveway of the hospital. This is what we are calling the detox center because it’s just easier and also it is sort of a hospital. But! It doesn’t really look like a hospital because it’s really more of a house with a nursing station and a staff. I had brought the Him tons of DVDs, sweaters (because they keep that place like Antartica cold), mint brownies, rice krispy treats, artwork from the Older One, and his report card (!). The Him was very happy, mostly to see his beloved family but also because I brought the brownies. He looks good, very healthy and animated. His color has returned and the extreme swelling in his legs has gone down. These things make me feel hopeful, like we can start living the life we were meant to have.

It’s always tearful pulling away from the little house. The Older One wants Papa to come with us, the Baby One is wailing about his car seat, and I’m just confused how I’ll manage another week with the ruffians that are my children. And also I wish that the Him was pulling out with us. The Baby One had a wonderful night’s sleep last night and I’m very much feeling as though I can make it another week. Provided the Baby One keeps sleeping relatively well and no one breaks out with any colds, we should be just fine.

Last night, I snuggled with both boys as we all drifted off into the Land of Nod and I was grateful. I am grateful for so many things, but mostly that we are all alive and healthy and able to function as a happy family unit (even if we are missing one right now). I am doing this Parenting By Myself Experiment and I am doing it well. No one is more shocked and amazed than I am. This thing we call mothering? I’m pretty good at it. Although it’s fair to say, my kids make this job easy. The Older One always has a smile when I’m feeling anxious, a joke when I’m feeling sad, a helpful hand when I’m cooking dinner, and a hug when when I need love. He is taking this time apart from Papa with the grace and maturity of a boy three times his age. He makes my heart swell with pride, adoration, and love. The Baby One has been a joy to be around. He is giggly, sweet (if not always smelling then acting), and perfect. He reminds me to relax and enjoy the minute and to not take myself to seriously. He is my perfect Little Buddy and he makes being his mother easy.

So, Grace 7/365 should be fairly easy today, right?

• Cupcakes. I just love me some little cakes of sweet, delicious, yumminess. And I’ve got some seriously good recipes to try out over the next few weeks.
• The Baby One having a good night sleep. Above all else, sleep is my most treasure thing and I need lots of it in order to function well. When the Baby One sleeps well, I sleep well. Yay, sleep!
• School days. They provide a much needed break. When else am I going to shower?
• The massage gift certificate just waiting to be used. ZOMG! I can’t wait to use this. The anticipation of the massage is almost as good as the massage itself. Almost.
• Visits with the Him. It’s like recharging my battery and now I know I can make it another week without him. It helps, even if only a little bit and that rocks.