Jun
02
Meet Peanut:
Oh my! I’m so sorry, Peanut! This was waaay back, before I had children, and I had the itch. I’m sure you know nothing about the itch, seeing as you’re a dog and all. But, clearly, one should never dress one’s Chihuahua/Yorkie mix in Warm Weather Tourist/Rain Gear.
- You’re a dog.
- You’re not a tourist.
- You rarely spend time in the sun.
- Also, you rarely spend time in the rain. You HATE the rain and would rather pee on the carpet. By the way I’m so over that, but now I realize you may be getting back at me and I kind of understand.
- Because, obviously, I need to hear it again: YOU ARE A DOG. (Not to be confused with DAWG, which you are so not.)
Again, I’m sorry and I promise never to dress you in human clothing again. (I now realize human clothing is kind of redundant because HUMANS SHOULD BE THE ONLY ANIMAL TO WEAR CLOTHING.) Also? It only just occurred to me why you might be peeing on the carpet. If I promise never to have such a serious lapse in judgment again, will you please stop? Please? Remember: I can always take you to the shelter! (I kid. Only slightly. Maybe.)
