Feel free to verbally abuse me for the fact that I haven’t updated in so long you might have forgotten about me. But! I have an excuse! Always with the excuses. We have all fallen ill with fevers, head/body aches, snot (truck tons of snot), sore and scratchy throats, and just the general Yuckies. It’s a serious affliction. Look it up on Web MD or something. Also? The Baby One is cutting four teeth. Seeing as how the Older One cut his teeth fairly late and never once peeped in pain, I was quite unprepared for the Agony that is Cutting Four Teeth at Once. There is constant screaming, chewing on hands, fingers, and (oh my hell OUCH) boobs. There are not enough Tylenol or Hyland’s Teething Tablets in the world to ease this hairy, four-toothed beast that is Teething Hell. In other news, Baby One now nearly has as many teeth in his mouth as I do. I kid! I only had one removed last week (so that’s a total of three, if you’re keeping track, and they’re all molars). Plus, he won’t have anything on me once I get my Titanium Rods of Dental Implants, but I won’t get that surgery until he’s done nursing and that’s a while away. Where was I?

The Him arrived home on Tuesday night! I’ve never seen the Older One filled with such sheer joy and excitement. It was like Christmas morning all over again. He has lost about 40 pounds and just looks amazing (the Him, not the Older One). He’s clear-eyed, tan, glowing, and AWAKE. It’s like a whole, new person and I can’t wait to get to know him all over again. The whole story is another post for another day because, honestly, right now I’m so snotty and achy and sicky that I just want to lie down. The bed is calling my name and the Baby One is calling my boob. I promise I’ll be back shortly (like a few days? Is that okay?) Again, with the promises.